she was so not down for the gang bang
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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