is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
