it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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