I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
