shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
