and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
