It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
