There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
