im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
