dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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