I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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