YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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