I want to stick my p in your. b.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
