i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
