I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
