and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
