you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
