Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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