I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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