Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
