she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
