At least make sure they are 18
Why
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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