I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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