The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
