She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
