hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
