they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
