Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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