Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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