i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My penis needs a shock collar
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
