Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
