The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This is the high leading the old right now
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
