When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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