is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
