planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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