A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
