covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
