why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
