You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I think people are normalizing furries
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