thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
