**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
