She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
