Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
