Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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