I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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