It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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