He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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