youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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