i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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