Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We are two peas in an std pod
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
