Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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